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SA Partridge

@ Sunday Times Books LIVE

The art of getting what you want

We all get inundated by 419 emails. Thankfully, I’ve trained my Inbox to send anything remotely resembling a 419 scam straight to my junk mail. But sometimes they can come in handy, especially when trying to get something out of your boyfriend.

I wrote this for Tim and I think he got the hint.

Dear Tim

My name is Mister Tibs, although some people call me Tibby for short.

A terrible fate has befallen my family. Our warren, which was home to me, my wife and my children, was recently destroyed to make room for houses for the big people. Other rabbit families also lost their homes, but they made their way to relatives in other fields. Sadly, our family had no where to turn, and spent a cold, wet night on the hard, unforgiving ground, jerking awake at the slightest sound.

My wife and I had to make a hard decision, but we both knew in our hearts that it’s for the best.

We are looking for good people willing to take in our children, and give them a home. Someone told me that your girlfriend, Sally, has been longing for a rabbit of her own. You would not only be making her happy, but you would also be helping my family. If you’d like to adopt one of our brood, please go to your nearest toy shop which is kindly looking after our children till they find a good home.

I have attached a picture of one of the little ones to give you an idea of just how cute and lovable they are.

I trust this message finds you in good health.

Yours sincerely,
Mister Tibs (Tibby)


Recent comments:

  • <a href="" rel="nofollow">Lauren Beukes</a>
    Lauren Beukes
    September 22nd, 2010 @09:27 #

    You are an evil and cunning woman, Sally. Just so long as you don't turn bunny-boiler...

  • <a href="" rel="nofollow">Sally</a>
    September 22nd, 2010 @09:43 #

    I imagine Zinzi might do something similar to get something out of Benoit.


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